Category Archives: Publication

How to (Really) Listen

How to (Really) Listen The first duty of love is to listen. – Paul Tillich Failures to listen are endemic to our species. The most common complaint from parents who bring their children to me for counseling is that “they … Continue reading

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15 Self-Help Books that Really Helped

15 Self-Help Books that Really Helped If you type “self-help books” into Amazon’s “Books” category, you’ll get more than 675,000 hits, and their “Kindle” category lists nearly 300,000. That’s a lot of self-help! But how many of these books have … Continue reading

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Keep Your Sanity with the Personal Craziness Index

Keep Your Sanity with the Personal Craziness Index To stay sane in an insane world, we need more than new tools and techniques. To maintain sanity, we also have to keep doing the things that got us there. The final … Continue reading

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Three Ways to Mix Mindfulness into Your Life

Three Ways to Mix Mindfulness into Your Life At the risk of stating the obvious, in order for Balancer to keep us balanced, it’s helpful to do activities that explicitly promote … balance. Mindfulness-based activities are at the top of the … Continue reading

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Handling Change, Part I: Radical Acceptance and Self-Compassion

Handling Change, Part I: Radical Acceptance and Self-Compassion Emotional adaptability is the ability to respond to changing circumstances and events without being unduly shaken by these changes. It’s a Balancer characteristic and a key component of resilience. Those of us … Continue reading

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Handling Change, Part II: Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness

Handling Change, Part II: Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness   Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness Like acceptance and compassion, the ability to forgive ourselves and others can free us from what Romantic poet William Blake called “mind-forged manacles” – in this case, feelings such … Continue reading

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Handling Change, Part III: Creative Approach and Experimental Attitude

Handling Change, Part III: Creative Approach and Experimental Attitude       Creative Approach Creative activities – and the creative approach to life that often accompanies them – can also help us become more emotionally adaptable. Creative activities are rewarding … Continue reading

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Strive for Excellence, Not Perfection

The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good   My father was a storekeeper and the son of working-class immigrants. He wanted his children to do better than he had, and he believed the gateway to a successful life was … Continue reading

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How to Boost Connections and Support

How to Boost Connections and Support For most of us, UnBalancer flourishes when we’re isolated. We are social animals, and separation from others weakens our ability not only to thrive, but sometimes even to survive. Ostracism – being ignored and … Continue reading

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How to Rebalance Your Brain in 3 Easy Steps

How to Rebalance Your Brain in 3 Easy Steps One of the most powerful resilience-building, Balancer-enhancing strategies is to consciously look for growth opportunities in experiences – to seek the silver lining in the cloud. Looking for the growth opportunity in … Continue reading

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Learning to Love Yourself

Self Love: Evolution In my more troubled youth, I was often told that to truly love anyone, I needed first to love myself. This advice, though well-intentioned, set up an unhelpful dynamic. Loving myself seemed as much like actual love … Continue reading

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Balancer: Build Your Resilience in 6 Steps

Build Your Resilience in 6 Steps   In recent posts, I’ve talked mostly about ReBalancer, the force that kicks in when our default stabilizer, Balancer, gets thrown out of whack by the UnBalancer. ReBalancer handles out-of-the ordinary stresses, but ReBalancer … Continue reading

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Balance: How to Design an Experiment

IMPORTANT: If you’re just tuning in now, click here for Part I, Balance: The Experiment and then come back here. This is Part II of a two-parter on using Experiments to keep your life on track.  How to Design an Experiment … Continue reading

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Balance: The Experiment

NOTE: This is a first draft of a book chapter. Responses, corrections, and any other observations are welcome, either via email or, preferably, as comments on this post. Balance: The Experiment “We’ve never seen anything like this!” shouts the general to his … Continue reading

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“Crazy” Amazon book sale

Quick note: $14.66 Amazon price drop Setting up Transformations Press as an Amazon seller seems to have triggered a little price war on Amazon: Amazon.com itself is now selling the print version of Paths to Wholeness for $25.34 and it’s … Continue reading

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Balance: Hanging in the Balance

NOTE: This is a first draft of what will eventually be a chapter in a book. Responses, corrections, and any other observations are welcome, either via email or, preferably, as comments on this post. Hanging in the Balance There once was a … Continue reading

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Balance: The Balancer/ReBalancer Tag Team

The Balancer/ReBalancer Tag Team Last week, I wrote about the UnBalancer. As powerful as UnBalancer is, and as insidious as it can be, each of us has two powerful allies to help us counteract it. One of them is Balancer. … Continue reading

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Balance: The Under Toad and the UnBalancer

The Under Toad and the UnBalancer ‘The Under Toad,’ Walt said. ‘I’m trying to see it. How big is it? And Garp and Helen and Duncan held their breath; they realized that all these years Walt had been dreading a … Continue reading

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Balance: Gyroscopes and Personal Flywheels

Balance: Gyroscopes and Personal Flywheels My first counseling psychology supervisor once remarked that every psychologist begins as a child psychologist – as a boy or girl who, to survive childhood, develops the basic skills for psychotherapy. I’ve been interested in … Continue reading

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Balance: A Mini-Lesson on Mini Self-Care

Balance: A Mini-Lesson on Mini Self-Care NOTE: This post is about how to take care of yourself when you’re too pressed for time for normal self-care. But first, some back story. In the summer of 1979, after two of my … Continue reading

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